Say You Desire Me (Full Moon Book 3) Page 4

  Once we arrive at the hotel, I park in the underground parking lot. I turn off the engine and Max gets out of the car. He looks at me over his shoulder when he notices I don’t follow him.

  “Aren’t you coming?”

  I shake my head. “I think this is more a brother-sister kind of moment.”

  “Good point,” he says. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  He turns around and runs toward the elevator. I watch him until the doors of the elevator are closed.

  Why do I feel this urge to follow him? Ever since I first saw Jolene in the lounge, I feel this connection to her. I need to know everything is okay. So, I have two options. The first one is to go to the bar and have a drink. The second one is to go upstairs and find out what’s going on.

  I grab the steering wheel in frustration. Alcohol does sound like the best option, so a drink is what it will be.

  I walk to the bar of the hotel and order a beer. The bartender senses my mood perfectly because he doesn’t ask any questions or try to have a conversation with me. He brings me a new beer when the first one is finished, and he leaves me alone once again. I get lost in the surrounding scenes, watching all the other people. I can’t say how long I’ve been here but the next thing I see is Max coming in and sitting beside me. He orders a beer. I want to ask him how his sister is doing. The question burns on my lips, but I keep my mouth shut. Apparently, he’s not planning on telling me anything, because for the longest time he just sits there next to me. Eventually, Max is the first to talk.

  “How do you handle this kind of situation with any of your three sisters? I only have one and I swear she can drive me insane.”

  I chuckle.

  “For starters, my sisters are all older than me, so I think I’m the one who drove them insane. Why, was it that bad?”

  “The guy she took home with her, I think he was the biggest loser I have ever met.” Max looks at me with a dark expression on his face. “Do you know he had the nerve to ask me for an autograph right after I kicked him out?”

  “You’re joking, right?” I take a swig of my beer and shake my head in disbelief. “What a jerk!”

  “Well, let’s hope Jolene thinks the same way in the morning because she’s pretty pissed at me right now. I only tried to protect her, you know.”

  “She will, I’m sure she’ll realize you prevented her from making the biggest mistake of her life.” I put my empty bottle on the bar and pat Max on the shoulder. “I’m heading upstairs, I’m exhausted. See you in the morning?”

  “Sure, I’m staying here a little bit longer. Who knows, maybe I can score some action here since I had to cut my evening short.”

  “Good luck with that, I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Yeah, good night.”

  6

  Jolene

  It seemed like such a straightforward plan. Go to the nightclub, pick up an attractive guy, take him with me to my hotel room and prove to Lionel that some guys do know how to make me come. That it’s not me, but him who is the problem. I’m not a freak. He just doesn’t know how to handle a real woman. It all sounded so easy in my head. Finally, being able to take control of my life again.

  That was until I entered the club. A cold sweat ran over my entire body, I forgot how scary it is to meet new people. Lionel and I were together for two years, and he’s the only boyfriend I ever had. What did I know about flirting with a man? Or how to start a conversation? So I took a seat at the bar and waited for a guy to approach me. But since that didn’t happen right away, I ordered a drink and texted Mia. Thank God it didn’t take long for someone to come and sit next to me.

  When I looked up at him, I knew he was the lucky one for tonight. His short black hair was neatly trimmed, he had these intense, big, brown eyes, a handsome face and his body was nice as well. Apparently, my goal for this evening was clear because he got straight to the point.

  For a moment I thought I could do this. No names, no small talk, just sex. Hot sex. Like I planned. Hot tension coursed through my bones like an electrical charge. As soon as we got to my room, he pressed his mouth to mine. But the rush of feelings I was expecting didn’t come. Not that he was a bad kisser, but I was expecting this heated kiss and it was most certainly not that.

  So, when his hand landed on my hip and he worked his way up over my stomach, I knew this was a mistake. And when I was about to stop him, someone pounded on the door of my room.

  “Jolene,” Max’s angry voice boomed through the door. “Open this fucking door right now or I swear to God I will kick it down myself.”

  Fuck!

  How did he know I was here? I know he didn’t see me leave the club; I made sure of that. He was nowhere to be seen having seemingly left earlier. Last thing I needed was for him to kick the door down because I knew he would. I opened the door, and as soon as I did, he pushed his way inside. When his gaze met mine, I could see the anger burning in them. First, that look was directed at me, and then at the guy standing inside my room. He swept his gaze over the guy and then turned his murderous look toward me again.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  I raised my eyebrow at him. Really? I looked at him, mad as hell. I’m not a little kid anymore and he sure as hell wasn’t my dad. If he thought he could lecture me, he has another thing coming. I defiantly crossed my arms over my chest.

  “What do you think was I about to do?”

  If he thinks I’m ashamed of what I was about to do, then he couldn’t be more wrong. He doesn’t know me that well, apparently. And to be honest, he’s acting all innocent right now, when I’m sure he has a different girl in his room every night. He swept his hand through his hair, frustrated. But only to make things worse, my conquest of the evening decided to say something.

  “Wait, aren’t you Max, the singer of Full Moon?”

  Max looked at him and then at me again. “Really, this loser?”

  After that, he swept his attention to my conquest again. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

  He lifted his hands defensively.

  “Hey, relax. I’m leaving,” he answered. And then he had to make things worse by saying, “Could I get your autograph before I go?”

  I think that this was the absolute worst moment of the evening. I hit rock bottom. Hard. My taste in men is horrible, to say the least. I wish there was a hole in the ground that would swallow me whole.

  Max took a step toward the guy. “If I were you, I would leave right now. I don’t want to see you near my sister ever again.”

  I think he got the message because he couldn’t get out of here fast enough. My brother turned his murderous gaze toward me.

  “What were you thinking?”

  “You don’t have to act like you’re holier than the pope,” I answered, mad. “I was only trying to have a little fun, that’s all.”

  His face softened a little.

  “I’m sorry, sis. I’m only trying to look out for you. I know the last few weeks have been hard. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

  He pulled me into him for a hug, and I had no fight left in me so I hugged him back.

  “I know you want to take care of me, Max. But I’m perfectly capable of making decisions on my own. I’m a grown woman.”

  “I know, but I will always see you as my little sister.” He kissed me on the top of my head and then left the room.

  NO MATTER WHAT I TRY, I can’t fall asleep. I’m one of those people with a strict bedtime routine. It’s not just a habit. I can’t sleep unless I’ve ticked off every single item from a list. And I mean every single item on the very long list.

  First of all, I don’t like not sleeping in my own bed. Second, I forgot to bring my own pillow. My pillow is firm and thick. This is too thin. Lastly, I closed the curtain like five times already, but no matter what I do to them, that teeny tiny gap always stays. So, the light keeps coming into the room. I could go on, but these are the most irritating ones. Like I said,
everything has to be perfect in order for me to sleep. I can’t help it. So here I am, staring at the wall above my bed. Waiting and hoping to fall asleep.

  Just when I think, things can’t get any worse, Lionel pops into my mind. What an asshole. I still can’t believe I wasted two years on him. It feels like he never cared at all. Why didn’t I listen to my best friends? They knew right from the beginning he couldn’t be trusted, and they told me so. That’s what good friends do, they tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not. But did I listen? No. So that makes me like the worst friend in the whole world.

  Did he ever love me? I mean, you can’t spend two years with someone if you don’t feel anything? Right? But what angers me the most is the fact that he cheated on me. If he were a real man, he could have broken up with me before he got it on with someone else.

  Well, I hope his new girlfriend finds out how worthless he is in bed. Besides the fact he never could make me come, our sex life wasn’t that great. Or maybe that was my fault? Maybe I’m not attractive enough? Or maybe I don’t have the right skills if you know what I mean.

  You see what he did to me?

  He made me insecure. Not that I needed him for that, I’ve always been insecure about myself. Especially when it comes to sex. And let’s just say that my first attempt this evening didn’t become a great success. So maybe it is me.

  With all those thoughts running through my head, sleeping is most certainly out of the question. I try to think of something else, and all I can think about is the birthday gift Mia and Erica gave me right before I left. I can feel my cheeks heating when I think of the moment I opened the gift wrap and realized what they had gotten me. But if I want to get some sleep tonight, then I need to shut my mind out. And maybe their present will do exactly that.

  I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Out of my makeup bag, I take Carlos. Since Lionel couldn’t make me come, Mia and Erica bought me a vibrator. Not just any vibrator. No, they picked out a shiny big purple one, and they even gave him a name: Carlos. That made me laugh so hard, but right now I’m grateful they gave it to me and made me pack it when I came here. I would never in a million years dare to buy something like this myself. But it’s time I take matters into my own hands. And that starts tonight! Because, if I can’t give myself an orgasm, then how can anyone else?

  I crawl back under the blankets, take off my T-shirt and panties and lay Carlos on the nightstand. The soft sheet brushes over my now naked, sensitive skin. I can feel the tension flowing away out of my body. With the tip of my fingers, I caress over my skin, stroke my breasts. I roll my nipples between my thumb and forefinger. The desire deep inside me keeps getting stronger, and I can feel heat pooling between my legs. I grab Carlos from the nightstand.

  The desire is so strong that I’m longing for relief. All the tension from the last few days gathers inside of me, ready to burst. I open my legs a little wider. I’m about to insert Carlos when there’s a knock on the door.

  I freeze. Who in the world would knock at my door at this unholy hour? Please, please, please don’t let it be my brother. I don’t think there is any girl who wants to get busted by her brother when she’s about to use her vibrator. I remain motionless in the bed, maybe the person on the other side of the door will leave, thinking I’m asleep.

  “Jolene?”

  It’s a male voice. I think... I think it’s John. What’s he doing here? I get out of bed and throw the sheets back on to cover Carlos. I put on my robe and head for the door. Slowly, I open the door and look out through the small gap.

  Just like I thought, it’s John standing in the hallway.

  What does he want? I check my robe again, and when I’m sure I’m well covered; I open the door completely.

  “Hi, what are you doing here?”

  John stands there and stares at me. His gaze sweeps over my face, down to my décolletage and then to my bare feet. Instinctively I pulled my bathrobe around myself a little tighter.

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He points to the door of his room. “I was on my way to my own room and I thought I heard something.”

  My heart melts with his reaction. I don’t think that in the two years we were together, Lionel was ever concerned about me. Not once. And here is John, a man I hardly know, standing in front of my hotel room, just to make sure I’m okay.

  “I’ve felt better,” I answer truthfully. “But it is what it is, it was bound to happen sometime, I’ll get over him.”

  Without thinking, I gave him some very personal information. I don’t know him at all, but it feels natural to share this with him. In some sort of way, I trust him. My phone rings and I look over at it, laying on my nightstand.

  “I better get that, why don’t you come in, so you don’t have to stand out there in the hallway.”

  I turn around and run toward the bed. I grab my phone, and I turn around and see John standing behind me. Why does the room feel so much smaller with him in it? His gaze never leaves me, and I suddenly realize that I’m hardly dressed at all.

  The caller ID shows a silly picture of one of my best friends, it’s Erica, and even though I always look forward to talking to her, my mind is not on the conversation.

  “Hi, Erica, is it okay if I call you back tomorrow?”

  “Sure,” she says hesitantly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  I sigh. “It was a long bizarre day, but I’ll call you tomorrow to tell you everything.”

  “Okay, take care of yourself, missy.”

  “I will, I’ll call you in the morning.”

  I end the call and put my cell back on the nightstand. I take a seat on the bed and John comes to sit next to me. When his leg accidentally touches mine, all the heat of a few minutes earlier returns. It feels like my entire body is on fire from this one small touch. He seems uncomfortable; I see him wiggle a bit.

  “What am I sitting on?”

  Oh My God! Oh no! Shit!

  Before I can stop him, he reaches under the covers. He looks at the object in his hands and then at me. His mouth curls into an evil grin.

  “Well, what do we have here?” he asks smirking.

  I try to take Carlos away from him, but he’s faster than me. He raises his hand high in the air, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t reach it. He’s at least a foot taller than me, so it’s a waste of my energy. I can feel my cheeks glowing. What did I do wrong today to have this much bad luck in twenty-four hours? It feels like the universe has turned against me. I drop back on the bed and hide my head in my hands.

  “This day can’t get any worse,” I moan.

  John sits closer to me and puts his hand on my leg. I can feel the heat of his hand on me and lift my face to look at him. The look in his eyes is not one of humor, rather, it’s curious. My gaze moves to his lips and then back to his eyes. I have to tell him what’s going on, or he might think I’m crazy. I let out a profound sigh.

  “My boyfriend broke up with me, and he... he never was able to... to make me come. That’s why my friends gave me Carlos. They thought he would be a good replacement during my vacation.”

  John curiously inspects Carlos and then looks back up at me.

  “Your boyfriend never managed to make you come?”

  That’s what he remembers of all the things I just told him? I can hear the disbelief in his voice. I bite my lip and shake my head. I can no longer look at him, I normally don’t embarrass this fast, but right now I wish I could disappear behind the curtains. His finger touches my chin and he lifts my face back up.

  In his eyes, there is a desire that wasn’t there before. His finger moves from my chin to my neck and farther down to my bosom. My breasts go up and down because I’m breathing so fast. His finger glides even farther down, over my bathrobe to the knot keeping it closed. He looks at me, challenging me to stop him. But I’m so turned on that I can’t and won’t. Lust is rushing through my veins.

  He opens the knot, and the robe drops down my shoulders, whic
h leaves me sitting naked beside him. When his gaze moves to my chest, I can feel my nipples form into two small bundles, screaming for him to touch them.

  “I knew you would be perfect,” he says in a hoarse voice.

  His comment throws me off guard. It sounds like he already pictured me naked. His words affect me. Because never before has a man ever called me perfect. All the desire pools between my legs, but if I thought I was ever aroused before, then that’s nothing compared to how I’m feeling right now. John takes the vibrator from the bed, grabs my hand and gives it to me.

  “I want you to use this on yourself right now, in front of me. Show me what that loser ex-boyfriend of yours wasn’t capable of.”

  I give him a shy, small laugh. I like that idea. If Lionel thinks he can break me, then he’s wrong. Just thinking of a man looking at me while I masturbate should make me nervous, but I’m not. His heated eyes alone make me extra hot.

  I get up and drop the bathrobe. John takes his time looking at me. The moment I think I can’t take his stare anymore, he makes room for me on the bed, so I can sit next to him. His hungry gaze doesn’t leave me once. Never in my life have I felt as sexy as I do now. The way John looks at me... Lionel never did that. He never had this I need you right now kind of thing going. With him, sex was something you did because you had a girlfriend, not because you needed her so badly. He never took his time with me.

  Once I’m back on the bed with my back resting against the headboard, I spread my legs wide and place the vibrator between them. Slowly, I let it slide inside me. John follows every move I make and positions himself between my legs.

  “Show me what you like, Jolene.”

  With my free hand, I wander over my skin; I caress my breasts and circle around my nipple. I’m driven by adrenaline because never before have I been this bold. It doesn’t matter that I’m pleasing myself; I want John to enjoy the show I’m performing for him. It’s easy to see that he’s used to this kind of thing, but I love the fact that I affect him just as much as he does me. That is if the growing bulge in his pants is anything to go by. It makes me feel special, knowing that a small, non-important girl like me can make John, the star guitarist of Full Moon, this horny.